By Laura Lemay <lemay@netcom.com>


THE TOP TEN HTML TAGS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT INTO NETSCAPE

1. <wired>...</wired>
   Renders the enclosed text in a suitably ugly font/color combination. If no defalut has been set up by the user, this is the default font, with red text on a yellow background.

2. <roach>...</roach>
   When selected, the enclosed text runs and hides under the nearest window. OR, giggles a lot and demands nachos, depending on your definition of "roach". (the formal definition, of course,to be determinated by the Official Honorary Internet Standards Commitee For Moving Really Slowly.)

3. <kill_sgml>
   Should anyone foolish enough to think that HTMl is still SGML try and run a netscape-html document though an SGML editor, processor or any other tool, this tag causes an immediate core dump, erases anything on your disk with "DTD" in the name, an emails a randomly-selected insult to Tim Peirce.

4. <pinhead>
   Inserts "zippyisms" into the enclosed text. Perfect for those professional documents. This is sure to be a favourite of mine!

5. <secret>...</secret>
   In order to read the enclosed text, you have to have secret spy decoder glasses. You can also read it by holding your computer in front of a full moon during the autumn solstice. In Emacs-W3, this displays the text using ROT-13 decoding.

6. <hype>
   Causes Marc Andreesen to magically appear and grant you an interview (whether you want one or not.) Please use this tag sparingly.

7. <peek>...</peek>
8. <poke>...</poke>
   So you want more control over screen layout in HTML? Well, here ya go. Actually, <peek> could almost be considered useful. Thje VARIABLE attribute can be used to insert the value of an emacs variable into the current document. Thngs like "welcomne to my page, <peek variable=user-mail-adress>" can be useful in freaking people out.

9. <yogsothoth>
   Summons the elder gods ,to suck away your immortal soul. Or Bill Gates, if the elder gods are busy. Unpredictable (but amusing) results occur when the <yogsothoth> and <hype> tags are used in close proximity.

10. <blink>..</blink>
   Causes the enclosed text to...ooops that one made it in.