Office work dull? None of your colleagues
appreciate your humour?.. Amuse yourself. Points are awarded
on a degree of difficulty basis: You can award yourself extra points
for creative execution.
ONE-POINT GAGS
- Run one lap around the office at top speed
- Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least
one other "no-player" must be in the bathroom at the time)
- Ignore the first five people who say "Good morning"
to you
- 'Phone someone in the office whom you barely
know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. 'Bye"
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your
hands over your ears and grimace
- When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger
it and whisper huskily, "Mmmmm, that feels sooooo good!"
- Leave your zipper open for one hour, if anyone
points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
- Walk sideways to the photocopier
- While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every
time the doors open
THREE-POINT GAGS
- Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barrelled fingers
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee, then
ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
- Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise
your voice)
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink
directly from the nozzle (there must be a "non-player" within sight).
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting
FIVE-POINT GAGS
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once,
it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points
if you actually launch into it yourself)
- Walk into a very busy person's office and while
they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as
"Bob".
- While an office mate is out, move their chair
into the elevator
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your
forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
- At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce
"As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again
- In a colleagues' diary, write in 10am. "See how
I look in tights"
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and
ask"You wanna trade?"
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times
to the same person "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind it's
gone now".
- Come to work in army fatigues and when asked
why, say, "I can't talk about it".
- Posing as a maitre d', call a collegue and tell
him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
- Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig,
etc) during a very important conference call.
- Find the vacuum cleaner and start vacuuming around your desk.
- Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from
the back of you pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
- Rollerblade skate around the floor throwing sweets
